Self-Regulation Guidelines

2/21/2021 – DRAFT – work in progress.

An individual can only truly determine and manage their own behavior from within themselves, and not by external factors. While empathy is the ability to feel and understand what other people feel, empathy for self (or self-empathy) is the awareness and understanding of self, including that of one’s own feelings, how those feelings occur (what triggers them), why those feelings may occur (for example, why one particular feeling occurs, instead of a different feeling, resulting in different behaviors), and how to deal with or manage such feelings. Self-empathy is a starting point from which ultimately self-regulation occurs.

One example of actual self-regulation is doing the right thing, especially when no one is looking, and not expecting any recognition for it. Recognizing others can be very beneficial, but expecting recognition and not getting it will lead to disappointment and some consequential, unwanted emotions/behaviors.

An analogy of the lack of self-regulation may be similar to when one is inebriated and cannot regulate their behavior nor regulate what they say nor their physical movements.

Garden members are encouraged to develop empathy for self (as well as, empathy for others and empathy for all else [nature, all other life, and all things] which is also important as a member of a community garden) and should review the following:

The Feel Your Own Breath Technique

The Two Monks Parable

What You Constantly Think About Determines Your Behavior

What is Empathy for Self (Self-Empathy)?
The awareness and understanding of self, including that of one’s own feelings, how those feelings occur (what triggers them), why those feelings may occur (for example, why one particular feeling occurs, instead of a different feeling, resulting in different behaviors), and how to deal with or manage such feelings.

How to Develop Self-Empathy.
What foods affect your mood? [immediately, short-term, and long-term] (sugars, carbohydrates/bread/flour, oils, salads, meats, etc.)
What beverages affect your mood? (Coffee, tea, juice, etc.)
What types of lighting (artificial and sunlight) affect your mood?
Describe the different emotions you get from different sounds, music, voices, images, videos, movies, discussions, etc.
Describe how specific smells arouses a certain memory and the emotion(s)/feeling(s) attached to it.